<![CDATA[SCHELL SCULPTURE STUDIO - BLOG]]>Tue, 09 Feb 2016 14:59:19 -0800Weebly<![CDATA[Audio Blog #34]]>Sun, 07 Feb 2016 21:58:11 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-34Picture
Life be crazy, yo. And herein you will find evidence of said craziness, yo. Awesome recipes, why wanting to kill Shelley Duvall isn't really THAT crazy, people I know who have had their assholes bleached (!) and delicious East-Coast sodas are all here! Grab some of those new Cinnamon Bun Oreos and check it out, homies!!

]]>
<![CDATA[Audio Blog #33]]>Mon, 01 Feb 2016 01:59:42 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-33Picture
Nothing short of amazing that we have reached Audio Blog #33 already! Did you know that Jesus was 33 when he was crucified? True story! I hope that doesn't mean my blog will be crucified….again. Anyway, tales await you on this journey through my dumb mind; the biggest falling-out I ever had with a friend, images I wish I could un-see and some tricks for WED clay texture! All here!! Grab some marble pound cake and open yer ears!

]]>
<![CDATA[Audio Blog #32]]>Tue, 19 Jan 2016 21:04:40 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-32Picture
In this episode of Horseshit, how I learned to stop worrying and love the Cruise, the craziest girl I EVER dated, how WED clay changed my life and actors we all could use a break from. Also, Farrah, Marilyn and tons of other sex symbols are mentioned and discussed…..Check it out and fall in love all over again with the greatest audio blog ever conceived by the human animal. Grab some Ritz Crackers and peanut butter and listen!!

]]>
<![CDATA[Audio Blog #31]]>Wed, 13 Jan 2016 04:14:55 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-31Picture
Better late than never, right? Thus…. here are further tales of your intrepid narrator as he lands a job in 1989 at the Stan Winston Studio, meets Johnny Depp and….works on a terrible sequel. Also: Tips on FW Acrylic Inks, further traffic madness and my top faves in modern horror film, all here! Plus, we conclude with my favorite Bowie hit…. Don't miss it!

]]>
<![CDATA[Audio Blog #30]]>Sun, 03 Jan 2016 23:17:25 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-30Picture
How is it possible that we are at #30 on this blog!? Yet…the facts remain that we, in fact, are. Thus, welcome to a discussion of fly-by-night movie companies, breaking up with a girl who got over me immediately, and nostalgia so thick it's like a Stouffer's French-Bread Pizza… speaking of which, grab a slice of your favorite kind and listen!

]]>
<![CDATA[Audio Blog #29]]>Mon, 21 Dec 2015 19:39:23 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-29Picture
Merry Christmas, y'all! Now let's plunge into the madness!!!
You-know-what is discussed (an unholy miscegenation of Bantha and Ewok horse (?) shit), Stephen King's awesome horror novels, the tale of a racist idiot I knew and the winner of our Movie Description Contest! All here! Grab them bagels with some Nove Scotia Lox Cream Cheese dip and listen!

]]>
<![CDATA[Audio Blog #28]]>Mon, 14 Dec 2015 23:18:24 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-28Picture
For eons, man has pondered the question: How do we get rid of idiots like Dr. Phil and Perez Hilton? Find out how, this week! Also, my first mini "Best Of" list of foods I've consumed, the first time I realized girls were different from boys, and the time I failed at sculpting a Pope mask---All here. All now. All hilarious. Grab some layered bean dip and give it a gander!

]]>
<![CDATA[Audio Blog #27]]>Mon, 07 Dec 2015 21:42:15 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-27Picture
Drama! Yes, drama happens when you do something irresponsible, and I am that guy this time. Hate mail, some of my very favorite movie scenes, and the first contest ever on here (!!), all on this stoopid----and now controversial---audio blog. Enjoy… or hate. It's a free country. But you must be eating a Moon Pie in order to listen to this properly.

]]>
<![CDATA[Where's the Horseshit!?!?]]>Tue, 24 Nov 2015 21:47:39 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/wheres-the-horseshitPicture
I know, I know…. LATE AGAIN!? Well, not quite. You see, this week there will be no Audio Blog. Now before you go and purchase the most expensive gun you can to take me out with, know these two things: (1), I am in the middle of an intense two weeks of teaching in England and, (2), I will be back next week with tons of hilarious anecdotes about my trip, more absurd Freelance Horseshit tales, and all-new jingles that are designed to make you laugh so hard you will vomit through your nose on close friends and family members. So…be patient, be happy, but most of all…. be aware that pawn shops make you wait a minimum of two weeks to obtain handguns---and by then, you'll be too busy laughing at the latest episodes of this stupid blog to even care about kidnapping me, taking me into the woods and leaving me there to die. Trust.

]]>
<![CDATA[Audio Blog #25]]>Wed, 18 Nov 2015 08:59:23 GMThttp://www.jorduschell.com/blog/audio-blog-25Picture
Here we go again, with more nonsensical wackiness from the Caramel Manatee!! How many varieties of KitKat exist? More than you ever wanted to know about this beloved candy, the tragic Michael Jackson story, a bizarre message from a former "Nightmare on Elm Street" star, and my weekly excuse for being late with this blog, all here! Grab a slice of Pumpkin Pie and lose yourself through the looking glass of madness!

]]>